UUMAN’s Possible Move to the Great White North

You may have heard the rumor floating around that if the upcoming election goes a certain way, the congregation will be moving lock, stock and barrel north of the border into the great white north of Canada. I’ve been asked to condemn that rumor and I’m here to tell you, “I don’t know anything about it…I know Canada is an amazing place…just amazing…they’ve got a lotta good people up there…lotta good people…and its very cold…very cold…and wonderfully.”

Yes, the rumor is that if the election goes a certain way the Board will be forming a search committee to scope out the best possible relocation site for UUMAN. Apparently the front runners are Saskatoon, Saskatchewan and Minnedosa, Manitoba…but you didn’t hear it from me (…bring a coat).

Yes…it may be a long journey but fear not, we won’t be wandering up there for 40 years. IT’S COLD UP THERE!!! WE’LL NEED SHELTER RIGHT AWAY!!! And by the way, we will be taking our beloved Sanctuary with us. Our Operations Team will be disassembling the Sanctuary, Fellowship Hall and the Chicken Coop piece by piece; painstakingly marking each item and populating it in one of Bob Popp’s spreadsheets. This will enable us to easily reassemble our beloved church north of the border. (Discovery Hall will not be making the trip. A bonfire is being planned.)

A name change may also be in order. Apparently, the word “Canadian” will be placed in front of our name thus changing it to CUUMAN. Now instead of endlessly telling people that it’s pronounced UUMAN, “like ‘human’ but without the ‘h’“, we’ll now be endlessly telling people that it’s pronounced CUUMAN, “like the spice but without the aftertaste.”

And don’t worry about rental income…The Premo School said they’re coming too.

Yes…it will be like a new start for UUMAN, or should I say CUUMAN…the only downside being that you’ll still have your old minister! ?


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